New Doesn’t Always Equal Scary

So, it has been forever since my last update, but I have been incredibly busy. In the past two months I have finished my senior projects, graduated from Piedmont, and started as a newbie here at Emory’s Chemistry department. I miss my family already, but I hope that my apartment won’t feel so empty when my roommate arrives in July. It would be nice to have a friend around. My mentor is so very patient with me and I really appreciate that from her because I know how important her time is (she is finishing in August, so she’s understandably irritated at having to teach me new techniques). I suppose I did not quite understand what I was getting myself into, but I do not regret being able to learn new things. I just hope that I can learn quickly enough to be able to get out of her hair soon. My project is basically a molecular biology project, so my lack of training really shows. I have never had a class in it or genetics and my knowledge of gel electrophoresis is pretty abominable, so it is quite a shock. BUT I am really going to try to take advantage of this summer’s challenges in hopes that I may become more well-rounded.

Heather is coming to visit me tonight, so I will enjoy some company. Then I plan to go home tomorrow night to see the family. Depends on how much I can get done tomorrow. More later when I’m feeling more inspired.

Cleared For Takeoff

I received a letter this morning from Clemson’s graduate coordinator and they are sending me an acceptance letter soon with information about an assistanceship. Talk about exciting news. I am really looking forward to visiting them and speaking with the members of the faculty that I have been in contact with via email. They seem genuinely excited to have me, which says a lot for a department. We shall see what unfolds in the next two months.

Two down, three to go.

I know Jeremy has had a long, rough week, so I’m hoping he’ll feel better after some time to himself. I hope to get the last of the presents wrapped this weekend and maybe I’ll start in on the cooking. I still am not quite sure what I will be fixing.

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend if I don’t get a chance to update! 

Quick Update

1. My research is going well. I have only a bit left to do at the beginning of next semester before I can start my senior thesis.

2. I had a great time with Jeremy, Tonya, and my family at the regional ACS meeting at the end of October. I was able to meet up with my advisor from this past summer, Dr. Urbauer. It was great to see him again. I presented our poster and had quite a few grad students and professors come over to discuss it with me, which is always good. I also met many of the professors from Clemson University, including Dr. Hwu, who spent about forty minutes talking with me about grad school. I was told unofficially by the graduate coordinator from Clemson that I would be accepted, which made my day. It was a good trip and I’m glad my family came to see me.

3. I was asked to present at the local Athens area ACS meeting on Nov. 30th by one of my profs, which will be a good experience, not to mention that I’ll get a chance to network. I’m looking forward to it. Unfortunately, Dr. Urbauer won’t be able to make it, but I’ll make him proud.

4. I recently got an email from the graduate admissions at UGA stating that they had accepted me into their program and that I would be receiving a letter from the Graduate School soon with the details. This came as quite a shock since I wasn’t expecting to hear from any programs until February or March, but it was definitely a nice surprise. So, hopefully I’ll be able to weigh the pros and cons of a few programs and make the best decision for me. I applied to GSU, Emory, Clemson, UGA, and USC, but I am hoping to go to a school that is more rural, so UGA and Clemson are my top two right now. We’ll see how it goes in the next few weeks. 

5. Jeremy is still wonderful. He’s incredibly supportive and I really need it right now.

6. I’m almost to Christmas Break! Then, I’ll have only 13 hours next semester–quite the slow down compared to my usual 24 hours. I’ll have more time to devote to studying for my orals and working on my senior work. Then, I’ll graduate in May. It’s crazy how fast time goes by. I’m looking forward to our family trip after graduation. Not looking forward to my possible ear surgery this summer. We’ll see how things go.

Back At Piedmont

So, I am back here at Piedmont. I am now living in Mayflower 318, which is beginning to look almost home-ish with recent additions of clothing and rugs and lamps.

I took the GRE on Tuesday and was only one question away from my goal of 600 quant., though I did very well on the analytical writings. I’ll be taking it again in September.

Life is really good right now, and also really busy. I suppose that’s how things go. Although I am looking forward to this year, campus just doesn’t feel the same since my senior friends graduated. I guess I need to befriend some freshies or something and recruit them to the science department.

Time to hit the books.

A Letter To My High School German Teacher

Guten tag, Herr Bradley!

I’ve missed you so much! How have you been? I have been quite busy lately, so I apologize for not keeping in touch. I finished my junior year at Piedmont this past May without my GPA suffering too much. I was quite nervous this past semester because I was taking biochemistry, organic chemistry II, instrumental analysis and a few math classes all at once, so I expected the worst during finals. Luckily my studying paid off and I made it out with A’s in my major classes and my only B in Calculus III (taught by a very hardcore teacher). My major is still chemistry, though I have tacked on a philosophy minor in addition to mathematics, much to the delight of my philosophy professor. My parents often joke that I should major in every major offered. Indeed, I have recently recognized my tendency to take on too much, leading to a condition of atypical depression that frequently leaves me either in a state of emotional paralysis or over-emotional ultra-sensitivity. I have taken steps to attempt to lessen the severity of these. I have also planned to take a lighter load next spring semester and then take most of next summer off to prevent complete burnout. 

Earlier this spring, I applied to several summer research programs and was accepted by all of them, though I did turn down Georgia Tech due to another equally qualified applicant was next in line who had not had a summer experience. To my surprise, UGA’s chemistry department actually called my advisor at Piedmont looking for me and accepted me quite early on, guaranteeing a nice stipend for my short nine week stay. I accepted their offer and began looking for a roommate in Athens, eventually settling in with a nice ecology Ph.D. grad student with whom I get along quite well.

I have been working with a very kind, intelligent professor who specializes in protein NMR and, more specifically, systems involved with breast cancer evolution. The work is intriguing, challenging, and, as with all jobs, has its monotonous moments, though I would not trade my time here for anything; it is also quite rewarding. I have learned so much from my two summers of research, and I hope that these will better prepare me for what may lie ahead in my academic career. My research advisor here wants me to present this project at the regional meeting of the American Chemical Society at Greenville, SC in October. I look forward to it, not only for presenting, but also for networking. I’ll definitely be taking copies of my CV for graduate recruiters.

In other news, I have been volunteering both my time and what little money I have (starving student) to three regional animal shelters, and I plan to continue volunteering to walk dogs and clean pens this coming school year. I have sponsored over eight dogs and cats by paying adoption fees and medical bills, most of which have been adopted to good homes soon thereafter. There are few things that I have found that are more rewarding than working with the animals, and I am sure that they will play a large part in my future, independent of my chosen career path.

I am still the luckiest person alive when it comes to family; they are relentless supporters of any cause I wish to pursue and I cannot be more grateful. The more people I meet in life, the more I am amazed by my parents and grandparents. My paternal grandfather has not been well the past year or so, his health declining due to emphysema. This has been very hard for us all because he has very good days and very bad day. He seems to obsess over death and consistently brings up the will and what will be left for all of us. He serves as the major inspiration for my love of science (he was a chemist for years), so it has been difficult for me to come to terms with his condition, though I am sure that The Man Upstairs has everything taken care of.

Last but certainly not least, I have fallen in love. Jeremy and I have been dating for two years now, and I don’t know what I ever did without him. He is my best friend, and he is such a blessing to me. He has seen both my bright and dark days, and, still, he loves me for me. We have grown to be able to laugh at each other, and also to be there for each other through harder times. I appreciate everything he does for me, and I cannot say enough good things about him. I especially appreciate his supportive attitude regarding my academics–he has always pressed that I should do what makes me happy, no matter the details. 

In closing, I’d like to say that I hope you and your family are well. I think about you all often. Let me know what you’ve been up to when you get a moment!

Much love,

Savannah

–
Savannah Johnson
Piedmont College”The professor talked much about Rhodium,
And then he expounded on Sodium.
His arms he did flail,
Until he turned pale,
And then he fell off of the podium.”

“The Chemistry Department is located near the Psychology Department for
good reason.”  - Allisha Ray (2003)

“The best scientist is open to experience and begins with romance – the idea that anything is possible.” — Ray Bradbury

Week One, Starting Week Two

So, I haven’t had much time to update, but I thought I’d give the reader’s digest version of my first week in Athens to those of you who actually read this thing.

1) My roommate is a very nice Ecology grad student. We both love animals, corny science jokes, and Thai food, so we’re off to a good start. She’s good enough to put up with me. I hope she can make it through the summer. Haha.

2) My supervisor and my labmates are really great. By Tuesday of last week, I was already downstairs in the NMR room–my super was showing me the basics and discussing possible projects. I knew what I’d be working on by Wednesday. It’s great to work with people that are direct, motivated, and nice enough to show me how to do techniques that I haven’t done before (I have done a lot of chemistry, but I haven’t had much experience with protein/DNA systems and gels and electrophoresis, etc., so I’m having to learn those also.) It thrills me, though, because hopefully I’ll catch on by the end of the summer and be able to leave Athens with a few more skills. Gotta have skills, you know? The more techniques I know, the better off I’ll be.
 
3) UGA bureaucracy is insane. People here do not do their jobs. For serious. I don’t feel like ranting about it anymore, but just know that it sucks. Very bad. 

4) I am tired. It be bedtime.

Letter To Katie

My dearest Yank,

I am doing well. I finished a grueling semester(GRUELING) and came out with three A’s and only one B– Calc. III. I attended our Science Dept. Honors Picnic right after finishing and my biochem prof actually came over to the chem table to brag on how well I had done in his class. Figuring I’m not much for basking in the light of my own achievements, I was blushing up a storm. But it did feel good to know that all of my long, lonely (studying took up much of my Jeremy time), incredibly stressful nights actually counted for something in the end (biochem and pchem are our school’s two hardest classes). I was really happy to hear him say he was proud of me, too, since he is actually part of the biology dept.(though he did well with teaching the chemistry in biochem) and is notorious for ripping chem majors a new one just because he can.

The first few weeks of class, when he would ask a question, I would purposely answer incorrectly so that we could move on with discussion and he would point out why that my answer was incorrect for the benefit of the class. Then, we ran into each other in Wal-Mart about half-way through the course and he asked me who I was. I told him and he started laughing–evidently they talk about me in their faculty meetings (my advisor likes to brag about his cherubs–Tonya and myself), and my biochem prof had been trying to figure out which one of his students was Savannah. Never did he imagine that it would be the idiot in the front row answering incorrectly. Haha. We had a good laugh about it and ever since then we have maintained a steady email correspondence  regarding my projects, etc. I was glad to have made him a friend, especially since he did his Ph.D./postdoc work on proteins similar to the ones I am working on this summer. It is always nice to have another source of wisdom, so to speak.

I am staying here in Athens in a little suburb called Five Points. I advertised on Craigslist and got a response within a day. My roommate is a really nice girl–er, woman. Her name is Cynthia and she is an third-year Ecology grad student (the Ecology building is right next door, so we’ll be able to ride the bus together). Jeremy and I went to look at many other places to stay and hers was the only one that “felt” right. She’s really reasonable and seems to take her studies seriously, unlike some of the other would-be housemates. I arrived here Sunday and she has gone to a conference in South Carolina until Thursday. It has been a bit lonely with her gone, but her menagerie of animals has kept me company–Lucy and Sierra, dogs; Rosie and Abraham, cats. The neighborhood is nice and quiet; also, it’s only a few miles from where I work.

Speaking of which, I am currently typing this from the third floor of the oh-so-exclusive Davison Biological Sciences Complex – Center for Genetics and Biochemistry. Haha. It is a nice building (much nicer than Chevron, in my opinion) with lots of nice labs, windows, and sunlight (a rare commodity). I will post some pictures on facebook soon so that you can see what I mean. The building is built in a set of three circles to maximize window usage–http://www.bmb.uga.edu/home/facilities/index.htm.

Also, my advisor here at UGA (sidenote: I was incredibly amused at your using “UG” as it is well known here in the South as “UGA” pronounced “yoo-jee-aay”, you’re such a funny gal!!), Dr. Urbauer, is in charge of the two NMR instruments here, so we have first priority and he plans to train me to use them. He also took me over to the Complex Carbohydrates Research Center yesterday to show me the NMR instruments housed there (he works with those, also)– http://www.ccrc.uga.edu/ . We had our first lesson this morning for about three hours. He showed me how to use the computer program to set up different shims, experiments, etc., and also how to tune the probe. It was great to have that kind of hands-on experience and attention. Much different from last summer! It’s only the second day and already I am learning! I spent most of yesterday reading, but did take some time to clean the HPLC with a labmate. I have not yet decided on a project, though he has given me three different project options, all of which sound really interesting. I’ll get experience harvesting proteins from bacteria, working gels, etc., as well as the NMR experience. I am thrilled to have a chance to learn such useful skills, not to mention they will probably come in handy later.

I am very excited to be working with Dr. Urbauer–he is passionate about his projects, and also understands the restrictions of the short time span in which I will be working–having such realistic parameters understood makes this “work” so much easier. He is definitely a big-picture person like myself. I really enjoyed working at Pitt last summer, but mostly due to people like yourself, Eric, Stephane, Chris, and Sruti. Last summer was definitely a learning experience (both good and bad), but hopefully this summer will prove to be much more productive.

I miss you a lot. I am happy that you have found someone to stay with in Madison! That is always a relief, I know. I hope that you enjoy your summer and that you take some time to relax. You will have to keep me updated on your graduate experiences so that I can live vicariously through you!! I am looking forward to my senior project this next year. And maybe visiting some friends (nod, nod, wink, wink).

Perhaps I will call you sometime when I’m not reading about proteases or calmodulin or INEPT. I know you’d like that. Haha.

I will be in touch,

Your Belle

The Science Picnic and Grades

Let’s just say that the past week has been both really tough and really good all at the same time. I survived my finals and I have officially moved out of the dorms (a chore in and of itself). I have quite a few things to get done in the next few weeks, but I think that I will take the next few days to chill out a little. I haven’t seen much of my family lately, so I am really looking forward to being able to hang out with them now. The Stockbridge Johnsons have moved up here now, so I’ll be seeing more of them!

Today was our annual Honors Science Picnic in Demorest Park. It was fun–Dad was able to come. Good thing, too, since he would have missed some good barbecue. Haha. It smelled good, anyways. We got to see Dr. Elrod, Dr. Carrigan, and the rest of the wacky, but loveable, science faculty. Rob was there WITHOUT his labcoat! It was odd to see him without it. I think everyone had a good time, and it was nice to talk to Dave and Wally since I probably won’t get to on Saturday at graduation. I’m gonna miss those guys! I know they’re off to bigger and better things, though, so I’m happy for them both.

Also, more good news. I went by the registrar’s office out of curiousity to see if all of my grades had posted yet…and here they be.

Instrumental Analysis - A
Organic Chemistry II – A
Biochemistry - A
Calculus III - B

I’m really happy with those! Not so much on the B, but it’s better than the C I thought I’d make!  And besides, my core classes are definitely most important to me. Still, not bad for such a grueling semester. I’m just glad I made it through. I really enjoyed biochem in a sick, nerdy way and I know that it will really help me out for my summer experience. I enjoyed Rob’s teaching, too. Always amusing AND informative.

I have been really weirded out the past few months. Partly because I’m a senior now and it’s beginning to dawn on me that I have to start thinking about my post-grad plans and partly because everyone and their brother’s cousin’s turtle’s sister’s best friend is getting married or pregnant or whatever. I talked with Wally today about his engagement and they’re waiting until she gets done with school and he gets a bit of his grad work done–about two years. And suddenly, I began to feel alright about things. It was as if something had clicked in my mind. It’s OKAY to want all of these things–it’s great to want these things–but it’s also perfectly fine to want to wait to finish school (or at least part of grad school in Wally’s case). I felt much better after hearing him talk about it–not just because he’s a good friend, but because he’s someone else who’s caught up in that particular dilemma like myself. It’s so nice to be in a group of people that are supportive about waiting–most of my other friends are not in that mindset.

It just felt good this afternoon to be a geek and for it to be okay. I had a good time. And tomorrow I get to see my family.

On that, I leave you with my quote of the day…

“Great spirits have always encountered opposition from mediocre minds. The mediocre mind is incapable of understanding the man who refuses to bow blindly to conventional prejudices and chooses instead to express his opinions courageously and honestly.”
Albert Einstein, quoted in New York Times, March 13, 1940

BLARGH

So, evidently I’ve relinquished my stressing/venting rights since I don’t have a “real” full-time job and a house and “real” bills. I despise being talked down to, and I can’t stand veiled comments. Just because I am going to school and don’t have a nine-to-five does not mean I don’t stress…

Grrrr… I know I don’t have TONS to worry about like a lot of people, but even I need some time to let go. I’ve been really stressed the past few days. All I needed was someone to vent to…but so much for that. I feel like I need a metaphorical drink.

I’ve got one more final tomorrow morning at 8AM, and then Dad’s helping me move my stuff out of the dorm. I am so looking forward to being out of this place. It will be so refreshing to have a few days to take a breather. Granted, I still have a lot to get done in the next month or so, but I will have some time off. This is much needed for my sanity.

I meant to go to the memorial service for Amanda’s father, but I got tied up helping some other people with a study group. I called her to tell her that I was thinking about them and for her to call if she needed anything. She’s become a good friend and I really feel for her. I hope that maybe we can get together sometime this month. It’d be great to have some girlfriends that lived close by to do “girl” stuff with..

I am leaving for Athens June 2nd. It should be an exciting adventure, and some great work experience. I’ve borrowed a few books from some of my professors in order to prep myself for the research. I also need to retake the GRE within the next two months so I can go ahead and apply to grad programs in early fall. I want to get everything in early so that I can focus more on my senior research.

I talked with Dr. Carrigan today between my biochem final and my organic chem final–he said that Andrew and I had both made A’s in our Instrumental Analysis class! Andrew and I had quite a time working on that final exam. I knew we’d both do fairly well, but it was nice to know that I have at least one A to my name for this semester. The others I am not so sure about. I know I’ll probably make a B or C in calculus just because I haven’t applied myself as much in that class as I would like. Not proud of it, but I wanted to keep my grades up in my core classes, so that one had to suffer. It’s a shame that I didn’t even need to take it, but maybe it will help with physics next semester. Biochem and organic can swing either A or B, though I’ve worked pretty hard in both. We’ll see in a week or two, I guess.

Our Honors Science lunch is Thursday at noon. I signed up as bringing at least one guest, but I doubt that anyone will come with me. Dad will probably be working in Dahlonega and Mom and Jeremy are both busy at the courthouse. I know they’re all working hard, but it kinda bums me out that everyone else there will have their parents, etc, with them. Ah, well. More barbecue for me, right? Heh. I hope Andrew will be there so I have someone to talk to other than Elrod, Carrigan, and Wainberg. He’s become a good friend, too. I have really enjoyed having class with him. Hopefully, we’ll get to hang out on the third floor next semester to drive Carrigan crazy. That’d be great. “May the Nernst be with you!” Haha. Good time

In other random thoughts, I miss going to Edisto beach. I just wish I had the money/accomplices to go. It’d be so nice to get away and enjoy a few days of walking on the beach and watching the pelicans fly across the sunset. Eh…maybe someday later.

I need to get back to studying…BLECK. (Seriously, I haven’t ever been THIS disgusted by studying. I guess this semester’s just gone on too long.)

Almost Done With Spring & Learning To Let Go

I just finished a good helping of tofu Pad Thai and coconut milk. It was very good. I finished both of my organic chemistry take-home exams today, so I thought it was appropriate to reward myself. Now I just have to study for my electrochemistry exam on Friday and then my series of finals starting on Monday. As of right now, I’m scheduled to take my Instrumental final on Monday, my Biochem and Ochem exams on Tuesday and then my Calc. III final on Wednesday. I think I’ll talk to Elrod and see if I can get my Ochem exam over with on Monday after Instrumental–they’re the standardized national exams and quite annoying to take. That way I can focus on studying my Biochem pathways and reworking my Calc. III quizzes.

I am really looking forward to being done with this semester. Not that I haven’t enjoyed parts of it, but this past year has been particularly tough, and I’m sure that senior year won’t be much easier. At least it’s a year closer to graduation, right? I’ve got to start moving stuff out next week. And then it’s a few days of relaxing before moving to Athens to work at UGA. I am looking forward to being back in a research group–it’s always an adventure and a great chance to meet new people. I am going to push myself this summer since I’ll be asking my PI to write me a recommendation letter this fall for graduate programs. It should be exciting, though, to be close enough so that my family can actually come visit to see what I do (and that I actually DO work). I just have to get all the details worked out sometime in May.

I worked hard today, but I did take a minute to walk outside the library this afternoon when it was sunny. It’s been really pretty around campus lately and all of the flowers are blooming. My favorite is the honeysuckle bush out next to the sidewalk on the far side of the cafeteria. I love the smell of honeysuckles. It reminds me of the big honeysuckle bush we had next to our house on the farm in Forsyth County that I’d eat off of during the warmer months.

I have been quite transient (I don’t think that’s even the right word, but I am not an English major, so I’ll let it go.) since last summer–floating between campus, my dorm, my parents’ house, and Jeremy’s house. Since I returned from Pittsburgh, I have felt a bit more nostalgic than normal, but I have learned that memories are best if seen from the present without trying to recreate them. I know that may not make much sense to those reading this, but it has been a very hard lesson for me to learn. Part of me is always going to want those things from my past that I enjoyed so much, but I know that I need to move forward instead of continuously looking back. Retrospect is not bad, but I tend to dwell in the past too much for my own good. I am learning that it is okay to go with the flow, to not be afraid of change, and to embrace the moments that are truly worthwhile.

That being said, I have been trying to work through my thoughts without being overwhelmed by them. Thoughts such as, “What will happen to me when I graduate?” “Will I ever get a job and will it be one that I enjoy?” “What if I don’t get accepted to a graduate program?” “I will be letting everyone down if I don’t do well…” , etc… I have been trying to think more positively–less worrying, more dreaming. That is how it is supposed to be, right? Less negative, more positive. I CAN triumphs over I CANNOT.

Not that I won’t get things done or that I am not concerned with my work. I will get the work done. But I do know that this is just a small portion of my life as a whole and that I needn’t let such worries take over my mind. It will all get done one way or another. And I’ll have a good time with it, too. I also need to start living in the moment more–I find myself always concerning myself with negative thoughts about the distant future, and usually regarding things over which I have little control. I need to let those concerns go. They are not here. And they have not happened. And they may or may not, but it is not for me to decide. These things are not in my court, so to speak, and I can only have faith that the future holds what is best for me. I should not wish it here so quickly; it will be here before I know it.

I have so much to be thankful for; I have a great family (hilarious), wonderful friends (patient), and the best friend ever in Jeremy. They all mean so much to me, and I know I do not tell them nearly enough. I have my health, and I’ve lost some weight. Despite all of my worrying, I have it pretty good. I just need to remind myself every once in awhile. It’s important.

More later…I’m tired and I start to wax philosophic after my brain turns off….