A Letter To My High School German Teacher

Guten tag, Herr Bradley!

I’ve missed you so much! How have you been? I have been quite busy lately, so I apologize for not keeping in touch. I finished my junior year at Piedmont this past May without my GPA suffering too much. I was quite nervous this past semester because I was taking biochemistry, organic chemistry II, instrumental analysis and a few math classes all at once, so I expected the worst during finals. Luckily my studying paid off and I made it out with A’s in my major classes and my only B in Calculus III (taught by a very hardcore teacher). My major is still chemistry, though I have tacked on a philosophy minor in addition to mathematics, much to the delight of my philosophy professor. My parents often joke that I should major in every major offered. Indeed, I have recently recognized my tendency to take on too much, leading to a condition of atypical depression that frequently leaves me either in a state of emotional paralysis or over-emotional ultra-sensitivity. I have taken steps to attempt to lessen the severity of these. I have also planned to take a lighter load next spring semester and then take most of next summer off to prevent complete burnout. 

Earlier this spring, I applied to several summer research programs and was accepted by all of them, though I did turn down Georgia Tech due to another equally qualified applicant was next in line who had not had a summer experience. To my surprise, UGA’s chemistry department actually called my advisor at Piedmont looking for me and accepted me quite early on, guaranteeing a nice stipend for my short nine week stay. I accepted their offer and began looking for a roommate in Athens, eventually settling in with a nice ecology Ph.D. grad student with whom I get along quite well.

I have been working with a very kind, intelligent professor who specializes in protein NMR and, more specifically, systems involved with breast cancer evolution. The work is intriguing, challenging, and, as with all jobs, has its monotonous moments, though I would not trade my time here for anything; it is also quite rewarding. I have learned so much from my two summers of research, and I hope that these will better prepare me for what may lie ahead in my academic career. My research advisor here wants me to present this project at the regional meeting of the American Chemical Society at Greenville, SC in October. I look forward to it, not only for presenting, but also for networking. I’ll definitely be taking copies of my CV for graduate recruiters.

In other news, I have been volunteering both my time and what little money I have (starving student) to three regional animal shelters, and I plan to continue volunteering to walk dogs and clean pens this coming school year. I have sponsored over eight dogs and cats by paying adoption fees and medical bills, most of which have been adopted to good homes soon thereafter. There are few things that I have found that are more rewarding than working with the animals, and I am sure that they will play a large part in my future, independent of my chosen career path.

I am still the luckiest person alive when it comes to family; they are relentless supporters of any cause I wish to pursue and I cannot be more grateful. The more people I meet in life, the more I am amazed by my parents and grandparents. My paternal grandfather has not been well the past year or so, his health declining due to emphysema. This has been very hard for us all because he has very good days and very bad day. He seems to obsess over death and consistently brings up the will and what will be left for all of us. He serves as the major inspiration for my love of science (he was a chemist for years), so it has been difficult for me to come to terms with his condition, though I am sure that The Man Upstairs has everything taken care of.

Last but certainly not least, I have fallen in love. Jeremy and I have been dating for two years now, and I don’t know what I ever did without him. He is my best friend, and he is such a blessing to me. He has seen both my bright and dark days, and, still, he loves me for me. We have grown to be able to laugh at each other, and also to be there for each other through harder times. I appreciate everything he does for me, and I cannot say enough good things about him. I especially appreciate his supportive attitude regarding my academics–he has always pressed that I should do what makes me happy, no matter the details. 

In closing, I’d like to say that I hope you and your family are well. I think about you all often. Let me know what you’ve been up to when you get a moment!

Much love,

Savannah

–
Savannah Johnson
Piedmont College”The professor talked much about Rhodium,
And then he expounded on Sodium.
His arms he did flail,
Until he turned pale,
And then he fell off of the podium.”

“The Chemistry Department is located near the Psychology Department for
good reason.”  - Allisha Ray (2003)

“The best scientist is open to experience and begins with romance – the idea that anything is possible.” — Ray Bradbury

Perfect Description of How I Feel

“Why, Georgia, Why?” by John Mayer

I am driving up 85 in the
kind of morning that lasts all afternoon
I’m just stuck inside the gloom Four more exits to my apartment but
I am tempted to keep the car in drive
and leave it all behind

Cause I wonder sometimes
about the outcome
Of a still verdictless life
am I living it right
am I living it right
am I living it right
why, why Georgia, why?

Rent a room and I fill the spaces with
wood and places to make it feel like home
but all I feel’s alone

It might be a quarter life crisis
or just the stirring in my soul
either way

I wonder sometimes
about the outcome
of a still verdictless life
am I living it right
am I living it right
am I living it right
why, why Georgia, why

So what so I’ve got a smile on
It’s hiding the quiet superstitions in my head Don’t believe me
don’t you dare believe me
when I say I’ve got it down

Everybody is just a stranger
but that’s the danger in going my own way
I guess it’s a price I have to pay
still everything happens for a reason
is no reason not to ask yourself if you are
living it right

Are you living it right?
Are you living it right?
Why, why Georgia, why?

I Just Don’t Think I’ll Ever Get Over You – Colin Hay

I drink good coffee every morning
Comes from a place that’s far away
And when I’m done I feel like talking
Without you here there is less to say
I don’t want you thinking I’m unhappy
What is closer to the truth
That if I lived ’til I was 102
I just don’t think I’ll ever get over you
I’m no longer moved to drink strong whisky
‘Cause I shook the hand of time and I knew
That if I lived ’til I could no longer climb my stairs
I just don’t think I’ll ever get over you
Your face it dances and it haunts me
Your laughter’s still ringing in my ears
I still find pieces of your presence here
Even after all these years
But I don’t want you thinking I don’t get asked to dinner
‘Cause I’m here to say that I sometimes do
Even though I may soon feel the touch of love
I just don’t think I’ll ever get over you
If I lived ’til I was 102
I just don’t think I’ll ever get over you

Elvis

Elvis
Originally uploaded by notanordinarythermos

I went to walk him today. It was great to bond. I wish I could have brought him home, but I don’t have a home persay.

My sponsor dogs are the best.

Lucky In Many Ways

Hello Dr. Majetich!
 
Thanks for the safety update! It is so very important in lab. I’m from Piedmont College, but I’m participating in the Chemistry Dept.’s SURO program for undergraduates this summer. I believe that my advisor back at Piedmont was one of your group members at some point–Luther Elrod?

–
Savannah Johnson
Piedmont College

“The professor talked much about Rhodium,
And then he expounded on Sodium.
His arms he did flail,
Until he turned pale,
And then he fell off of the podium.”

“The Chemistry Department is located near the Psychology Department for
good reason.”  – Allisha Ray (2003)

“The best scientist is open to experience and begins with romance – the idea that anything is possible.” — Ray Bradbury
 

————————————————————————————————-

Savannah…

       Glad you have a healthy sense of safety consciousness already
ingrained in you.  I didn’t enjoy sending out the messages yesterday
but if they help avoid someone getting hurt, they served a valuable
purpose.

       As for Luther Elrod, Lou was a graduate student of Professor
Charles Stammer, a peptide chemist.  Since I was young then, I got to
teach most of the graduate classes;  hence, Lou was in several of my
classes.  Recently I used his notes from one of my classes to teach
part of one of our graduate courses.  Even back then Lou was destined
for an academic career…he was able to take my disorganized lecture
notes and give some sense of order to them.

       I hope your summer undergraduate experience is an enjoyable
one, and a safe one.  Don’t hesitate to visit me and show me what you
are working on…

       George Majetich

————————————————————————————————————————-
  

George,

Oh, I see. I knew he had mentioned you many times in class, though I knew not in what context. He is my advisor now, and even though it is a tiny department (two chemistry majors graduating this next year), I really appreciate his dedication to his students, whether they are chemistry majors or otherwise. He is a great teacher, and speaks highly of you.
 
I am currently working with Jeff Urbauer in the Davison Life Sciences complex. My project involves monitoring a specific peptide binding site using NMR titrations and techniques. It’s pretty interesting, and I’m excited to have this opportunity!
 
I participated in a similar program last summer at the University of Pittsburgh, though the project there involved a lot of lanthanides and fluorescence spectrosopy using different excitation sources. Different, but fun! This has lead to difficulties in my choosing a chemistry focus area for graduate school, though I am sure I will figure it out as I get more experience.
 
I graduate May 2008, and will be applying to UGA’s chemistry graduate program, so I’ll definitely keep in touch with yourself and others here.
 
Thanks again!
 
Savannah Johnson
Piedmont College

—————————————————————————————————————-

Savannah…

       For what it is worth, I am a graduate of Pitt’s Ph.D.
program.  In one week I will be driving down Forbes Avenue and with
any luck I’ll have some Iron City and some perogies later that night.
I sure do miss the Dirty O and the Original Oyster House.  I used to
be able to tell what kind of weather day it was going to be by
looking at the Cathedral of Learning at dawn.

       Seems to me that between Lou and Jeff you’ve been lucky.
Look forward to meeting you…

       George
 

————————————————————————————————————————-

George,

Pittsburgh is quite charming, and I do miss parts of it. I am lucky in many ways.

See you later,

Savannah Johnson
Piedmont College

Inside Out

So, I spent most of last week with family, friends, and Jeremy. The Fourth fireworks made me tear up. As does everything else. 

Jeremy took me to visit the relatives in Charleston this weekend. I had a good time, though I worried that he just drove all weekend. But I was happy to get to see my relatives there. I just wish we could have stayed longer.

I hate how whiny I have become. And how I cry at the drop of a hat. I can no longer control my anxiety. I know I have a pretty blessed life and pretty much nothing to complain about, but I can’t seem to pull myself out of these feelings of self-hate, guilt, and melancholia. I’m going to make a doctor’s appointment. I need some help, whether it be some chemical imbalance or whatever. This has just been going on too long. I thought I could make it go away. I thought I could fix it just by putting on a happy face. That helped a bit–the whole positive thinking thing–but it has gotten worse in the past year. Most of my days are average, but only just, and that is not right. That’s not how it is supposed to be.

I hate having to feel happy for everyone else’s benefit–to put on a fake smile. I want to feel like my old self again. I want to be able to enjoy things again. I have so very much to be thankful for but I feel cheated out of them by this pessimism and extreme anxiety. Life is so beautiful. Why can’t I experience that and feel it like so many others do?

Most of all, I hate what my moods do to Jeremy. He is my best friend and the man I love the most. I cannot stand for him to feel that he can never make me happy. He does so much for me–more than I will ever deserve. He is such a blessing, and I know that this is hurting him, too. 

I have tried to manage this on my own, but I have so much trouble with it–more than anyone may realize. And it’s something I really don’t feel comfortable discussing with…well…anyone, really. I know that it’s my burden to bear, but I am tired of feeling ashamed and alone. It has really gotten to me this past year.  

I just want to let Jeremy know that he truly DOES make me happy and that this is not his fault in any way. I believe that we are responsible for our own happiness in life, and he is my happiness. I want to be able to show him this rather than it being masked or marred by this insatiable gloom.

God, I want it for myself, too. And my family. We all deserve better than this thing I have become. And I don’t want it. I want to be better. I really do.

Athens has been harder than Pittsburgh in so many ways. Or maybe it’s just a fifth life crisis. I’m not sure. But I will not let it get me, whatever has brought this on.

More later. Going to sleep on this.