Crazy Lately

Life is crazy lately. I’ve had two research proposals, an article, and a presentation to finish on top of the normal class/cume/lab schedule, making for a really insane week. I have a few deadlines coming up, but I am sure it’ll be better when I get past these. I am really excited about moving to a new apartment (where I can use the kitchen). I know April will be rocky, but we’ll get through it. I miss Jeremy a lot lately, as well as the cat. I wish things were different, but such is life. I think that it will make us stronger in the end if it doesn’t tear us apart now. I especially need his support through the next few years. I also miss my parents, though I talk to them regularly. I am tired tonight, but I have gotten some laundry done. Tomorrow night I’ll get to see Jeremy and then maybe I’ll get to head home Friday night. I’m off to finish essays. Maybe I’ll get funded eventually.

New Doesn’t Always Equal Scary

So, it has been forever since my last update, but I have been incredibly busy. In the past two months I have finished my senior projects, graduated from Piedmont, and started as a newbie here at Emory’s Chemistry department. I miss my family already, but I hope that my apartment won’t feel so empty when my roommate arrives in July. It would be nice to have a friend around. My mentor is so very patient with me and I really appreciate that from her because I know how important her time is (she is finishing in August, so she’s understandably irritated at having to teach me new techniques). I suppose I did not quite understand what I was getting myself into, but I do not regret being able to learn new things. I just hope that I can learn quickly enough to be able to get out of her hair soon. My project is basically a molecular biology project, so my lack of training really shows. I have never had a class in it or genetics and my knowledge of gel electrophoresis is pretty abominable, so it is quite a shock. BUT I am really going to try to take advantage of this summer’s challenges in hopes that I may become more well-rounded.

Heather is coming to visit me tonight, so I will enjoy some company. Then I plan to go home tomorrow night to see the family. Depends on how much I can get done tomorrow. More later when I’m feeling more inspired.

Here’s To 2008

It’s a beautiful day on the mountain–the sun is out and the weather is breezy. It’s my last “day off,” but I am really excited to be going back to school Sunday. I know it is my last semester at Piedmont, but it doesn’t feel like it. I think it’ll be a good semester, though, since I’m taking a few hours less than my 20+ norm. I plan to use some of my free time to work on my senior work, and also to visit departments.

The next few months will be exciting, stressful, happy, and sad. I hope that I can truly enjoy every moment since these will be the last before my next transition. I know I’m an “adult,” but I don’t really feel like it and I don’t know when I will. Sometimes the details of everyday life get in my way and can become slightly overwhelming, such as thinking about where I’ll live, how I’ll pay rent, or if I’ll have a “real job” someday. It’s kind of a scary feeling because I know that I should feel prepared and with it, but, many times, I lack confidence when reality comes knocking. I know that it is just something I need to work on, and I plan to work on many of these things in 2008. I will probably be teaching next fall and I need to be confident, not only for myself, but for those that I will have the chance to reach through my job. I will have others looking to me for guidance and leadership, and I need to believe in myself before they can believe in me.

I don’t know when or if I’ll ever feel “adult” and “with it,” but I am a work in progress. There isn’t a day that goes by that I’m not molded or changed in some slight way by those around me, and I need to be thankful that my life it so terribly sweet and good. I have a wonderful family, quirky though they may be, and great friends. I have all of the material luxuries that a girl can dream of, and so much more than I’ll ever deserve.

I think my biggest goal in 2008 is to become a more grateful and loving person. And also to feel more comfortable in my own skin. I try to remain humble by playing down my accomplishments, but I now realize that I can be proud of my past without being boastful. I have definitely done my share of work (there, I said it), but I have also had the most amazing supporting cast in the world. I see my accomplishments not as just my own, but also as a product of my parents’ love, my family’s support, my professors’ patience, and Jeremy’s faith in me. I believe that God has His own reasons for all things that occur in my life and that I should learn, grow, and evolve with every triumph and defeat. He has given me so very much, and I know that He expects much from me in this life. I am only human, and I will always be flawed, but I can use my faith to become more for Him.

I look forward to 2008 as a year of laughter, learning, and as an opportunity to grow in my faith. I want to keep my attitude positive despite challenging circumstances, which will be a challenge in and of itself since I am prone to melancholia and depression. But I know that I am strong, that I’ve got some great people working on my side (The Big Guy included), and I should cling to this like a lifeline.

Here’s to 2008.

New Year’s Resolutions

1. Lose another ten pounds.
2. Enjoy my last semester and graduate from Piedmont with my B.S.
3. Get an assistantship and go to grad school.
4. Make new friends and keep in touch with the old ones.
5. Learn something new everyday.
6. Make time to read for pleasure.
7. Learn to live in and enjoy the present.
8. Work on my personal defects in a realistic manner.

More later as they come to me!

Feel free to comment with your own resolutions.

Baby, Baby

Oh, Johnson & Johnson. Why must you make baby commercials that make me cry?

That’s a sad, sad confession, I know. But it’s true. I love babies.

Tomorrow I’m off to see the other side of the family. I can’t wait till New Years. Maybe I’ll post some of my resolutions soon.

For Jeremy

Home
By Vanessa Carlton

Some people live in a house on a hill
And they wish they were someplace else
There’s nobody there when the evening is still
Secrets with no one to tell

And some I have known
Have a ship where they sleep
With sounds of rocks on the coast
They sail over oceans five fathoms deep
They can’t find what they want the most

And even now
When I’m alone
I’ve always known
With you
I am home

And some live in towns
Cardboard shack on concrete
All blustered, and bustling life
They search for the color
You can never quite see
‘Cause it’s all white on white

And even now
When I’m alone
I’ve always known
With you
I am home

And even now
When I’m alone
I’ve always known
With you
I am home

For me it’s a glimpse
And a smile on your face
A touch of your hands
An honest embrace

For where I lay, it’s you I keep
This changing world
And fall asleep
With you all I know is
I’m coming home
Coming home

Christmas

Christmastime always wears on me, but it can also be a bit refreshing. I enjoy the family time, but I think the best part is looking forward to the New Year. I had a great Christmas, though, and got way more than I ever deserved. I really didn’t do much this year for folks, but they seemed to outdo themselves. I appreciate it though. Among my spoils include: Pyrex casserole dishes w/personalized cover, two sets of my St. Moritz Wedgwood china (absolutely beautiful), a new leather wallet, a stocking full of goodies, cool books including a cookbook, kitchen implements, a Thermos caraffe, teas and coffees, new clothes, and much more. So, I definitely made out like a bandit, not to mention that I had a good time with the families (Johnsons and Adamses). Jeremy has been amazing. Aside from dealing with my bad moods, he also got me a beautiful gift–a gorgeous watch. I have needed one for so long. I always felt a bit less confident that I didn’t have a nice timepiece to wear at professional conferences or presentations, but now I have a very nice one. I really appreciate practical gifts like this, especially since he took the time to pick it out himself. That means so much.

I have been quite Scroogish this holiday season for reasons I’m not entirely sure of myself. It just hadn’t felt very Christmasy until yesterday between the weather and the stress of trying to find something special for each person. I think I did well with my gifts to people, though. I know it’s not supposed to be all about the gifts, but I do try to put a lot of thought into what I give to people to try to show them that I do care. It makes me happy to give people something that they’ll actually use and enjoy.

But my mood has been despicable lately and I know I just need to get over things. I think it’s partly because this break is so excruciating. I know most people would love this much time off, but it just about makes me crazy–I can’t stand not feeling productive. I’d much rather be studying or writing or cogitating than “breaking.” It doesn’t help that January and February will be the months where I’ll actually get to visit graduate school campuses and I won’t know anything more until then. Friends have told me that this waiting is the worst part. I know that I’ve been accepted to two of my top three schools, Clemson and UGA, which is definitely a relief, especially since they accepted me so very early. I am hoping to get decent offers from both, either teaching or research assistanceships. I don’t know that I’ll qualify for any fellowships since my GRE scores were low, but I am always hopeful. 

I know that I should practice living in the moment and not take any moment for granted, but it is so hard when the rest of my life is so close. I feel like everything that I want has been put on hold until I finish my undergrad degree–I can’t focus on research and I certainly can’t take part in any serious life-altering events (I’d lose my scholarships). But I can take comfort that the end of this is only four months away, which will fly by I’m sure. It is good and bad. Good that it’ll be another chapter of my education coming to a close, leading into another. Bad that I’ll be leaving behind some of my favorite people. I know that I love school, especially my professors. They have helped me in more ways than they’ll ever know, and I’m immensely grateful to them for it. I have been so blessed in my friendships. They all have molded and shaped me into the person that I am today without fully realizing their influence. I have been very lucky to have such a great support system.

This time of year always makes me nostalgic and introspective. I am always living in the past or the future, never in the present, and I know that this is a flaw of mine. Because there is so much beauty that I miss out on in the present.

Like this.

And this.

It really is all about spending time with those you care about.

I need to go work on my New Year’s resolutions. Much love.

Cleared For Takeoff

I received a letter this morning from Clemson’s graduate coordinator and they are sending me an acceptance letter soon with information about an assistanceship. Talk about exciting news. I am really looking forward to visiting them and speaking with the members of the faculty that I have been in contact with via email. They seem genuinely excited to have me, which says a lot for a department. We shall see what unfolds in the next two months.

Two down, three to go.

I know Jeremy has had a long, rough week, so I’m hoping he’ll feel better after some time to himself. I hope to get the last of the presents wrapped this weekend and maybe I’ll start in on the cooking. I still am not quite sure what I will be fixing.

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend if I don’t get a chance to update! 

Clemson Letter

Hello Savannah;
 
First off, thanks for your note and for your interest in Clemson.  I’m very glad to hear of your interest in Clemson and hope you decide to apply to one of our graduate programs. 
 
When I first received your email I immediately forwarded it to Prof. G* in chemical and biomolecular engineering, because I knew of Prof G’s interest in biosensors and related topics.  I have an interest in biosensors and have worked on them in the past but my more recent interests are in materials for batteries and fuel cells, so I thought Prof. G might be a good match for you.  We (he and I) discussed a possible joint advising arrangement for you which is still possible; I thought we might discuss that further if your interest in Clemson stays strong and you come for a visit. 
 
I understand that he has been in communication with you, and that’s great.  I think that his C3B center would be a good match for you.  I hope you continue your communications with him and ultimately decide to apply to Clemson, if you have not already done so. 
 
Let me add one final thought.  We often invite especially strong prospective applicants to visit Clemson at our expense to explore opportunities for graduate study here.  Prof. G and I would like to extend such an invitation to you to come and visit for a day, to speak with faculty and see what we and Clemson have to offer that might be a good match to your interests.  You are quite close so it might be best for you to just come over for the day.  Or if it made more sense to do so we could put you up in a hotel.  Either way we would support your travel and local expenses.  If you want to do something like that please let me know, and we’ll schedule it. 
 
Thanks again for your interest in Clemson; and I hope I get to meet you sometime this spring during a visit.

Prof. C*

*Names removed out of respect for their privacy.

Busy Bee

Thursday I went about baking cakes and other goodies for the upcoming parties–Mom’s bday and the family gathering on Sunday. I heard from Mom that night about my grades for this past semester. Luckily, all A’s. This pleases me because now my GPA’s back up to 3.91 from 3.89. Small difference, I know, but now I will graduate summa cum laude rather than magna.

I am typing this from Heather’s MacBook since I came down to the ‘Ville yesterday to visit with her. I went to the county Christmas party yesterday before heading down and was able to squick out with free food. I haven’t seen the Pleather in quite awhile and I’ve been needing some “girl-time” away from the fellas I normally roll with. It’s always fun to have dinner and watch insane movies with her. And the one we partook of last night was INSANE: Forbidden Zone. Yeah. Just go watch it. I cannot adequately describe the film using words. One must EXPERIENCE the Forbidden Zone. I think Heather is sucking me into her Oingo Boingo obsession, oddly enough.

Today, I plan to hang with the Pleath a bit and then head back home to have dinner with Mom. I took her her Orange Creamsicle cake yesterday as a surprise and she really seemed to like it. You can see pictures of it on my photos page. I also posted a pic of the Double-Chocolate Cheesecake I made. I think I’m going to keep pictures of all the foods I make so as to keep track of what was good and what was not so good. Maybe I’ll even post recipes later.

Tomorrow I will be with the familia paternus. It shall be fun. I haven’t seen them in so long.

So long for now! I’m off to prod Pleather with a very small hand on a stick(I told you–just go watch Forbidden Zone).